I have a habit that I've never been able to shake. When I end a phone call, lunch date, party--basically any interaction with someone I like--I have to confirm when I will see them again. It's not a big deal, and no one has ever asked me about it, but it still bothers me sometimes. It seems a little too needy, sad even.
Today, in tears, I found the root. My sweet, wonderful nephew is visiting for a few days, and I went to pick him up from his dad's this morning. They haven't been able to see each other much lately, and the goodbye was very tearful--made more so by the fact that today is my brother's birthday. As we drove away, I handed that brave boy a tissue (okay, a napkin) and told him I knew just how he felt.
My parents divorced when I was about eight, and I have spent the last 30 years seeing my dad once a year at best. I can distinctly remember the quiet sobbing I did in my airplane seat as I left New Jersey or, later, Hawaii. I tried to hold it in, but wasn't even close to old enough or capable enough to deal with the pain. Forget that, I'm crying right now just remembering it.
Goodbye sucks, especially when you don't know the next time you'll see the one you are leaving. So, if it makes the little eight-year-old girl buried inside me feel better to confirm she will see you again, I'm just going to have to live with it.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Detox Day
I have always loved the first day of everything--school years, new jobs, even just this new month. It's a chance to start fresh, to be a little more. I also feel like being a little less.
A little less worried about money, a little less frantic in the morning on school days, with a little less on my plate and in my wine glass.
We went to bed last night talking about a detox, because indulgence isn't indulgence if it's a daily occurence . Taking a break from socializing nightly, drinking and eating too much, and exercising more is always a good idea.
I keep thinking I want to take up yoga. As a Christian, I found a great place called Yahweh Yoga in Arizona, and even considered taking classes to be a certified instructor. The idea of it all sounds great--"Be still and know I'm God" (Psalm 46:10) is a favorite verse. The fast-paced exercise I usually do is better accompanied by old-school hip-hop music than meditation. The yoga thing never takes for me, though.
It's the idea of it that I love--breathing, stretching my body, meditating on God's word. But then I end up in triangle pose, see the cobwebs attaching my fake plants to my ceiling, and lose all focus.
For now, I will blast David Crowder Band singing "Here is Our King" and dance. It isn't yoga, but it is a cleansing.
A little less worried about money, a little less frantic in the morning on school days, with a little less on my plate and in my wine glass.
We went to bed last night talking about a detox, because indulgence isn't indulgence if it's a daily occurence . Taking a break from socializing nightly, drinking and eating too much, and exercising more is always a good idea.
I keep thinking I want to take up yoga. As a Christian, I found a great place called Yahweh Yoga in Arizona, and even considered taking classes to be a certified instructor. The idea of it all sounds great--"Be still and know I'm God" (Psalm 46:10) is a favorite verse. The fast-paced exercise I usually do is better accompanied by old-school hip-hop music than meditation. The yoga thing never takes for me, though.
It's the idea of it that I love--breathing, stretching my body, meditating on God's word. But then I end up in triangle pose, see the cobwebs attaching my fake plants to my ceiling, and lose all focus.
For now, I will blast David Crowder Band singing "Here is Our King" and dance. It isn't yoga, but it is a cleansing.
Monday, July 13, 2009
$25 Corn dog
Like her mother, my daughter loves most processed and sodium-laden meats. A favorite of hers for many years, is the corn dog. Being an Iowa native--home to the greatest State Fair in the world and all things on a stick--I can't blame her!
Last week, we had a girls only night, while the boys went to baseball. I told her I would take her out for a special dinner, thinking she would blow the budget on shrimp, but she chose the humble corn dog. Now, I could have gone to SuperTarget and bought an entire box of 8 corn dogs for less than $5, but we were going out--to be waited on! I looked up the menus of a few favorite places close by, but none offered a corn dog on the kids menu. Our only choice seemed to be the Chili's Too at the mall.
The service was slow, my salad had an abundance of iceberg lettuce and not enough goodies, but my best girl got herself a corn dog. The total, with tip and drinks--$25. Not exactly a bargain, but at least I don't have 7 more corn dogs in my fridge, because we all know who would probably eat them first!
Last week, we had a girls only night, while the boys went to baseball. I told her I would take her out for a special dinner, thinking she would blow the budget on shrimp, but she chose the humble corn dog. Now, I could have gone to SuperTarget and bought an entire box of 8 corn dogs for less than $5, but we were going out--to be waited on! I looked up the menus of a few favorite places close by, but none offered a corn dog on the kids menu. Our only choice seemed to be the Chili's Too at the mall.
The service was slow, my salad had an abundance of iceberg lettuce and not enough goodies, but my best girl got herself a corn dog. The total, with tip and drinks--$25. Not exactly a bargain, but at least I don't have 7 more corn dogs in my fridge, because we all know who would probably eat them first!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Enough is PLENTY
My favorite hobby is reading fiction, but if you asked my husband, he would say it's grocery shopping. In his defense, I do both things 4 out of 7 days. Yes, I grocery shop that often--and I do love it! I love eating, so buying food is the first step to knowing something yummy is coming.
This week, property taxes took precedence over Whole Foods and the like. For the week until my husband's payday, it was time to finally "make do." I've thought about being more disciplined before, but then I would drive by the only place that sells my Silk Hazelnut creamer (YUM!), or head to Costco for a $4.99 rotisserie chicken, and leave with $100 of various snacks and things they were sampling.
That wasn't an option this week. I guess I could have used a credit card, but I cut coupons to save on groceries. Doesn't really make sense to pay interest on them, if I don't have to. We had plenty of frozen chicken--Asian-orange, boneless breasts, Italian-breaded--in the freezer, along with some good veggies I'd stocked up on and never used. Now it was time to eat what I'd been acquiring.
I'm pretty sure most people in the world don't have 2 refrigerator/ freezers and a pantry with double-doors. And they also don't have access to all the food we do. I am also sure I will be raptured if the planet gets too crazy, so what am I storing all this for? Other people spend too much on jewelry, clothing, purses, watches--not me, SuperTarget is my retail therapy.
The lesson for me this week was gratitude. I am grateful that I had enough to feed my kids. I am grateful that we sat down as a family and ate a home-cooked meal each night. I am grateful that my son loves to make us all hold hands, so he can say a prayer. I am grateful to have enough, because enough is plenty these days!
" He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy." Acts 14:17
This week, property taxes took precedence over Whole Foods and the like. For the week until my husband's payday, it was time to finally "make do." I've thought about being more disciplined before, but then I would drive by the only place that sells my Silk Hazelnut creamer (YUM!), or head to Costco for a $4.99 rotisserie chicken, and leave with $100 of various snacks and things they were sampling.
That wasn't an option this week. I guess I could have used a credit card, but I cut coupons to save on groceries. Doesn't really make sense to pay interest on them, if I don't have to. We had plenty of frozen chicken--Asian-orange, boneless breasts, Italian-breaded--in the freezer, along with some good veggies I'd stocked up on and never used. Now it was time to eat what I'd been acquiring.
I'm pretty sure most people in the world don't have 2 refrigerator/ freezers and a pantry with double-doors. And they also don't have access to all the food we do. I am also sure I will be raptured if the planet gets too crazy, so what am I storing all this for? Other people spend too much on jewelry, clothing, purses, watches--not me, SuperTarget is my retail therapy.
The lesson for me this week was gratitude. I am grateful that I had enough to feed my kids. I am grateful that we sat down as a family and ate a home-cooked meal each night. I am grateful that my son loves to make us all hold hands, so he can say a prayer. I am grateful to have enough, because enough is plenty these days!
" He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy." Acts 14:17
Friday, May 29, 2009
Skinny Cow
The new favorite food of the Sparks girls--who thought nothing could ever be better than cheese--is Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle bars. They somehow have 100 calories, but taste like a Wendy's Frosty that jumped on a stick and rolled itself in some chocolate. YUM!
If you haven't tried Skinny Cow ice cream treats, today is the day. While my son napped, my daughter and I shared some fudgy bliss! The chocolate all around her mouth, the giggles, the time alone with her--priceless.
Summer vacation is off to a tasty start.
If you haven't tried Skinny Cow ice cream treats, today is the day. While my son napped, my daughter and I shared some fudgy bliss! The chocolate all around her mouth, the giggles, the time alone with her--priceless.
Summer vacation is off to a tasty start.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Still Got It
Driving past the baseball field in Evergreen yesterday morning, I saw something that made me smile. The guy at the plate hit a nice line drive to center field, the ball was caught on the fly and thrown over to first to hold the runner. Everyday stuff, huh?
But it was Monday morning at 10, so all the kids were in school and the middle-aged guys were working--or looking for work these days. So who was playing? A gang of 65-plus studs! They were in their old-school sweats with the elastic tight at the bottom, caps all facing forward, and no-logo gray sweatshirts to match.
Just seeing them out on the field brought a smile to my face. These days it's the simple things that make life grand and bring joy to an ordinary Monday.
"Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy." (Psalm 33:3)
But it was Monday morning at 10, so all the kids were in school and the middle-aged guys were working--or looking for work these days. So who was playing? A gang of 65-plus studs! They were in their old-school sweats with the elastic tight at the bottom, caps all facing forward, and no-logo gray sweatshirts to match.
Just seeing them out on the field brought a smile to my face. These days it's the simple things that make life grand and bring joy to an ordinary Monday.
"Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy." (Psalm 33:3)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Hermit Crabs--from the Mall!
Since our dog died 2 years ago, we have happily existed without a pet. No kennel to worry about when we travel, no peeing on our friends when they come over (that was Willie's special trick), and no dog hair to clean off my miles of hardwood floors. When I am ready for another pet, it will not be a hermit crab--from the mall--with a shell painted like a superhero.
My husband, mother-in-law, and kids are all conspiring against me to purchase such a horror. The mall closest to our house has a creepy, little kiosk that sells hermit crabs. The plexiglass sandpit they live in is about 3-feet by 2-feet, but they all congregate in the corners of the tank and climb on top of one another. I'm sure it's an attempt to escape!
"If even one of us makes it out, " says the Spiderman-shelled crab, "our lives will not have been in vain!" The one who's shell is painted like a turtle (identity-crisis anyone?) seemed the least concerned with escape. He was too mesmerized by the single kernel of popcorn in his beady line of vision. Not the pet I am looking for.
If you see my husband or mother-in-law at Colorado Mills, call me right away!
My husband, mother-in-law, and kids are all conspiring against me to purchase such a horror. The mall closest to our house has a creepy, little kiosk that sells hermit crabs. The plexiglass sandpit they live in is about 3-feet by 2-feet, but they all congregate in the corners of the tank and climb on top of one another. I'm sure it's an attempt to escape!
"If even one of us makes it out, " says the Spiderman-shelled crab, "our lives will not have been in vain!" The one who's shell is painted like a turtle (identity-crisis anyone?) seemed the least concerned with escape. He was too mesmerized by the single kernel of popcorn in his beady line of vision. Not the pet I am looking for.
If you see my husband or mother-in-law at Colorado Mills, call me right away!
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